Friday, 13 August 2010


This summer, I've lain for hours with my boy beneath the bending boughs of the apple tree, watching him as he watches the world.

I've seen his eyes follow the leaves overhead, and I've watched the wind roll through his hair. I've watched him blink as sunbeams break through the branches and noticed the shadows dapple his skin.

I've stroked the smooth curve of his cheek and listened to the babbles that fall from his lips.

I've sung to him, read to him, smiled at him, tickled him, played with him, laughed at him, cuddled him, and marvelled over and over again at the perfection of his tiny form and the miracle of his existence.

I hope that my future holds many more people that I can love as deeply and fiercely as John, but I doubt that I will ever again have the opportunity to be so wholly absorbed in a single, separate life.

This is the blessing of the firstborn and this is a secret bond that I will cherish forever.


  1. A lovely post and the photo is beautiful, you both look so happy!

  2. I wish that I had been writing when my children were babies so that I had a record of how I felt.

    I wonder if you are the most wonderful and extraordinary way you will find the time to be equally absorbed in any siblings that John is lucky enough to have.

    It has been a total delight sharing in the joy that Christian feels as she watches her little red-headed baby girl grow and reach out to the world. She must be a very similar age to John.

  3. Beautiful words. That last sentance makes me want a baby :)

  4. What a beautiful post -- it took me right back to how I felt with my firstborn. I couldn't possibly imagine how my heart could possibly love another child as much as that first one. There IS room and there is a special bond with the firstborn -- each child has it's own special bond for different reasons. ;-) I love your blog!