Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Opening Up


Lately, I've had the pleasure of welcoming visitors to my quiet little corner of the Internet and connecting with a group of people whose lives seem to echo my dreams, whose words give me inspiration and whose kindness has moved me to tears.

The experience has been a strange one, and I'm still adapting to the change. When my blog hid itself quietly amongst the folds of the Internet's many pages, I felt safe in sharing myself in this space. I felt that my words were written for me alone and that my soliloquies would be safely preserved here until nostalgia required them.

Knowing that others are reading my thoughts has changed this from a secret space into something a little more public, and as a solitary and antisocial soul, I'm anxious.

The idea of sharing my thoughts and dreams so openly with strangers is strange and slightly unsettling, and there have been nights where I've lain awake during the dark hours before dawn feeling exposed and vulnerable.

But the kindness of the comments that I've received and the feeling of connection that I've experienced have made this fear worth fighting, and brought me bounteous blessings besides.

Openness and honesty are always daunting ideals, but the closeness and community that can result when we embrace them makes them well worth fighting for.

12 comments:

  1. I can recognise and sympathise with your sense of alarm because I still feel it occasionally even though I have been writing for three years. I think of blogging as being a window onto a community of people who are sharing their stories. You always have the choice to shut the curtain and go back inside your house but I am sure that you will soon feel part of the friendship that I have found outside the window from the wonderful group of supportive and inspiring fellow bloggers.

    I know that any of the bloggers that have commented on your blog would be happy to share their experiences and reassure you. It should be fun - new mums don't have much spare time so you don't want to waste it!

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  2. Your blog is lovely, but ultimately its yours... Remember you can always put your blog on "private" and require password entry. That way you can be in control of who, if anyone, reads it.

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  3. Helen I love reading your beautiful words and have put you on my blogroll. But, if you would prefer not to be so public I will take you off. Email me if you would like me to do this (eamil on my About page via my blog).

    Sue xx

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  4. I worried about opening a can of worms for you - it's a funny feeling, knowing strangers are privvy to your deepest thoughts. Though oddly for me, I am only truly panicked when I realize someone I know from real life is reading my blog.

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  5. I second Ali. Its so weird when someone from work says they found my blog, and suddenly I'm wracked with fear that they will think me self-absorbed etc. But honestly, getting the comments from fellow bloggers out there always makes me smile. They are my friends from a different head-space, people I don't know, but who I can learn from and pick up great tips, knowing full well that they will not come knocking on my door with "useful opinions". On the parenting front, I read your blog and it made me smile rather than feel sad, as I promise you every mother has felt the same way, and if they didn't then they are a small exception. My kids are now 8 and 3 and I still stay awake at night worrying about them. I even still put my hand on them at night to check they are still breathing. That's motherhood and it will never go away. My only "unwanted advice" would be to slow down and enjoy. Those dishes, that pile of ironing and that little bit of DIY can really wait. Take care x

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  6. I agree with Ali and Reds, I only worry about what people I know might think of my posts, but I've only told my closest friends and they're all really supportive and find it a great way of keeping in touch.

    Blogging has made such a difference to my life - so lovely to make new friends and have a creative outlet away from my usual 9-5. I've had kind words, laughter, encouragement and support when I've needed it and feel part of a whole other world.

    Your words and pictures are beautiful and you really should feel proud of what you've put together. It is lovely. But I do quite understand if you want to keep things private. x

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  7. It's a funny one isn't it. After about 3 years of blogging my family and frinds all seem to've discovered my blog and its certainly changed how I write on there (only from my point of view, they all said nothing but positive things, but I still find myself thinking twice).

    I'm a private person too so I know what you mean about feeling exposed. It's funny because I know the internet is a very public place indeed, but from this side of the screen (sat here on my sofa) I feel like I can pour my heart out :) And I've made some lovely supportive friends in the process.

    I hope you can find some kind of happpy balance... your words are honest and a pleasure to read.

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  8. You know, one of the things I like about your blog is your honesty and openness - it's something I really admire as I don't tend to bare all on my blog, so I think you're really brave! Hope all this well intended attention doesn't worry you for too long. As others have said, the blogging community is lovely and supportive, and a place to build completely different types of friendships to those you have in real life x

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  9. Blogland can be a baffling and alarming place at times- it is rare that what we're reading is exactly what is felt. You have echoed my feelings about motherhood in so many of your posts though - and I haven't read all of them! Your honesty is so reassuring.

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  10. I just found your blog a couple weeks ago. Your writing is truly beautiful, succinct, well-thought out, and reflects a beatiful life. Thank you for sharing it with us. I feel so refreshed after reading your posts. It is good to know such a talented woman is enjoying life as a mom, and working through the hardships with joy!

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  11. I hope this post didn't seem too negative - I really didn't mean it to be. I have felt challenged by the changes to this space but at the same time I've been amazed at the pleasure that I've had reading your kind comments. Please don't stop visiting - it's a pleasure to share my jumbled thoughts with kindred spirits. x

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  12. I really love your blog and do hope we won't scare you off. The sincerity and gentleness of your words make for posts that you should be so very proud of. As others have said, for the most part it is such a kind and supportive community.

    Like Ali, I am oddly reassured by the anonymity of it all yet feel strangely censored when I know of "real life" people who are reading.

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