Sunday, 15 August 2010

Temporary Blessings

I always knew that the baby's room would be ripped apart within months of its creation. I knew that its window would be bricked up before the baby was born and that its walls would be torn down soon after. I knew that no sleepy child would ever rest its weary head there or wake to see the pictures that my hands had lovingly stitched, and I knew that it was futile to spend time creating a nursery in a space destined to be a building site.

But in the slow weeks before the boy was born I still cleared armfuls of junk from this little room, got down on my knees to scrub the floor, dusted cobwebs from the ceiling, hung cross-stitch pictures from the walls, searched high and low for the perfect curtains to hang at the closed-in window and bent my weary back over the sewing machine to stitch bright strings of bunting.

And even though just five months later the room is ready to be torn apart, I'm still very glad that I did. Because in those strange, quiet weeks before the birth, when I was teetering on the brink of change and yet nothing but my belly seemed to have altered, it was important to create a space for a newborn.

The baby's room was a clean and quiet place, full of preparation and potential. It was a place where unused sheets lay in an un-rocked cradle and un-dirtied vests lay in unused drawers. And on the days when the baby seemed too remote to imagine or the concept of motherhood seemed too overwhelming to contemplate, it was a place that I could retreat to and feel calm, centred and ready.

I can't pretend that pulling down the bunting and packing up the toys isn't making me ache inside, or that it doesn't feel strange to be destroying a space that's never even been slept in, but the baby's room was a blessing whilst it lasted. And I suppose all blessings are temporary; some are just more temporary than others.


  1. Oh it looks so lovely. Sometimes we have to do things just because we have to, and not because they make sense!

  2. But what fun you will have when the new room is ready. And that will be the bedroom that your little one will always fondly remember! x