Saturday, 23 October 2010

In the Ring


Round 1: After weakening my spirit with severe sleep deprivation he wakes ready to attack. His nails have sharpened into points overnight and he uses them to scratch deep gouges in my neck, cheeks, chest and arms. I retaliate by pinning his little wriggling body to the changing mat and scrubbing his naked bottom whilst he screams.

Round 2: After a brief lull he rallies with the latest weapon at his disposal: his razor-sharp new teeth. He sinks them deep into my arm and chews manically on my shoulders. I twist and pull his chubby little limbs into clothing and in protest he grabs a handful of hair, yanking it straight from the roots. I'm still reeling with the pain as he follows through with a sturdy fist-full of neck.

Round 3: As I feed him he capitalises on his captive prey by pinching me repeatedly with his free hand. In retaliation I hold him prisoner in my arms whilst finishing the page of my book. In a final showdown we wrestle desperately on the floor amid a sea of colourful toys. He mauls my legs and I restrain him as he heads for the hearth. He attacks my ankles and I watch him crack his head on the floor.

With a head-butt that leaves us both dizzy and dazed we call time out and head to bed, bruised and battered and ready for a re-match tomorrow.

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