Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Moving On


I had expected pincers of jealousy to pluck at my heart as I met the newest member of the family.

I remembered the awesome thrill of welcoming new life into the world and I recalled the wondrous pleasure of holding a miracle in my arms. I was aware of the astonishing power of a newborn babe and I remembered how it swept all else aside in its frenzy of joy.

And so, as we travelled through the fog to meet our brand new niece I prepared myself for a feeling of flatness in the face of others' elation. I readied myself for melancholy at the relentless passing of time and I steeled myself for nostalgia over my tiny babe that has grown.

But holding this tiny, perfect girl in my arms and feeling her weightlessness on my knee, I was simply overcome with awe: Awe at the miracle of birth; awe at the fragility of life; awe at the privilege of parenting and awe at how far we'd come.

No, my baby is no longer a newborn. He doesn't squeak like a baby bird or fit easily in the crook of my arm and he doesn't sleep with his knees tucked up to his chest or flail astonishingly small fingers in the air.

But instead he's a little person, with chubby legs, a ready smile, a sociable spirit and an unquenchable passion for life.

And so rather than railing against change and mourning that which we've lost, meeting little Bethany made me look back to where we started and appreciate the tremendous amount that we've gained.

3 comments:

  1. Gosh she is gorgeous..it is startling how quickly babies grow right in front of us and we never notice how grown up they are until we meet a newborn...scary that it goes so fast...enjoy each and everyday with your boy..its a wondrous gift to see them grow and learn and most importantly be cherished..he will always be your baby..trust me..my eldest is 23 and still wants a cuddle from mum when she is poorly or wants mums special medicine when she is ill...they leave home but not you...
    sara

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I see a newborn, I can never quite believe my own were once so tiny and helpless. And they still scare me! But I love being an Aunt, which strikes me as all the fun bits of motherhood with none of the angst.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your niece is beautiful.
    I have read your blog with a similar perspective - my own "babes" are grown and you remind me of how far we have come and what I have right now. Reading here also reminds me that my fears must be set aside, as past fears resolved themselves whether I fretted or not!

    ReplyDelete