Tuesday, 15 March 2011
The Winds of Time
Maybe it's the sudden sunshine that's splashed Spring across the land, maybe it's the sound of little shoes clomping tirelessly through the house, or maybe it's the acute awareness of ageing that only a birthday can bring; but for some reason time seems to be blowing past me like a brisk and boisterous March breeze.
It's whisking away the baby-days that I've grown to know and love, blending the weeks together in a blur of constant motion, and driving us ever closer to the momentous milestone of One.
And as my days disappear before my eyes, and the deadline of his birthday draws ever closer to hand, I find myself clawing my fingernails against the wind, and raising my voice against the gale in an effort to stop these fierce gusts of time from blowing John's babyhood away.
I claw and clutch at the present and cry out against what is lost, but the winds of change refuse to heed my cries and in just ten short days my baby boy will turn one.
And so I have to turn my face into the breeze and remind myself that a birthday is just another day in the gradual unfolding of life; I have to savour every last moment of this wild and wonderful year and I have to stop thinking of the year that's passed as something that I've lost and remember that it's actually a beautiful and undeserved gift that I have gained for good.