* There's no point in feeling self-satisfied for having locked the fridge door if you've left a bag full of groceries sitting on the kitchen floor.
* A toddler has an uncanny ability to sift through a bag of shopping and pick out the item that has the potential to cause the most glorious mess.
* It takes a one-year-old roughly a minute (the time it takes to rinse limescale out of a kettle) to swipe a box of eggs from the kitchen, open it, and discover that its contents are satisfyingly breakable.
* The look of delight on the toddler's face as he swooshes slimy egg-white on the tiles makes it impossible to do anything but laugh.
* Cleaning up egg-white actually just means spreading it right through the house (particularly when helped by someone small and very enthusiastic)