Sunday, 30 October 2011

For a Moment There I Was Interesting


"I didn't know you were a writer" said the vicar, suddenly looking at me with a relieved sort of enthusiasm, as though he'd suddenly remembered that he had something to talk to me about after all.

"Ummmm..." I said vaguely, wondering what exactly he was referring to and hoping that I wouldn't have to fumble and fluff my way through an explanation of abandoned novels and unfulfilled ambitions.

"I was talking to some friends about an article I read in the Church Times a few years ago - I remembered the beautiful picture on the cover - and they told me that you wrote it!" he said, looking so genuinely impressed and interested that I felt myself flushing for a moment and feeling quite overcome by my own mediocre accomplishment.

And as I explained to him about the freelance writing that I'd done and the magazine that I'd worked on and he nodded and asked questions and listened to the answers intently, I realised that for a moment I was interesting.

Interesting in a way that I could never be for sweeping floors and playing peekaboo and washing dishes and playing with play dough. Interesting in a way that allowed me to speak and be listened to, remembered, recognised and ever so slightly revered.

And later, as I sat letting the thrill of a neighbour's interest wash over me once again and reading through some of my old work, I wondered whether I should begin writing freelance articles once again.

Not because it would fulfil my creative desires, not because it would give my life purpose, not because I can't live without the money and not because I feel it's important for my career, but just because it would be nice, for one moment, to be interesting once again.

4 comments:

  1. You should Helen. Definitely. And, anyway having a baby and being his mother is pretty interesting.

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  2. Raising a child is such incremental work that it can make your job seem very small. It is only far,far down the road, when they become independent people, that you can see what you were so busy creating.

    If writing makes you happy in the here and now, it's a good thing. And it's something you certainly do well. Anything which rails against feeling invisible.

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  3. I agree wuth sue and alison and think you should start writing again, your blogs are a joy to read because of the words you use and the way you describe everything.

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  4. You are a writer...one I find very interesting. xxx

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